★ keeping my head down

#000 // a sweet farewell.

2011-06-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

I sending this blog off to bed for now.
I want to forget all the grief I had along my highschool years which I kept in here.
I want to keep the smiles and joy I get with the people who I love around me.
This is where the childish, dependent and the younger side of me shall stay
for now I shall grow up and be a better person I ought to be.

the me I'm leaving is a 17 years old girl, who had a tough life as a student, living far from the comfort of a family. yet she was happy to live and grow up among her friends in the midst of Gopeng Integrated Boarding School. Childish. This place is mostly rants and one sided love confessions. I want to leave it all. but everything was too precious to be deleted. So I'm gonna let it stay, might be something fun to read through sooner or later in the future.

the me I'm going for is a college student, pacing towards her dream to become someone in the engineering industry. Owning a good career and good fortune. Preparing for studying abroad as an A-Level Cambridge student in Mara College Seremban, Mara scholarship holder.

starting 5th July I won't be in Perak anymore.
and i won't be updating this too.
farewell.

http://eejoosays.blogspot.com

#177 // crude oil.

2011-04-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

I got shortlisted for UTP Educamp!
but why only one day?

I need explanationnnnnnn.
Mine is 26th.
ironman's 27th.
batman's 26th.
Oh yeah, i got company!

#176 // tiga serangkai.

2011-04-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

Ah bagos lah tu.
Sorang baca sejarah, sorang chemistry, sorang bace Julia.
Rindu la plak meja cam gini.
Agak agak dah tengahhari confirm panas gila tempat aq tu.
Bnyak la merungut merungut, panas lah, ta de mood lah, ngantuk lah
Yang bes bila baring atas meja pandang kiri bole usya orang kat seberang sana.
Start dari seat camni la aq jadi stalker.
Seat yg dulu ta de menyerong so susah kalau nak meng stalk stalk ni.
Dah la aq duk belakang, sebaris dengan mangsa stalkerism.
Belah kiri ta de dak perempuan so nampak sangat r. an3?
Hakhak.

Konklusinya, di sini lah bermulanya pengembaraan stalkerism aq.
Ta sangka lak lepas playfully stalking
ke lain plak jadinya.
Hm.

#175 // bye bye rambut.

2011-04-16T17:39:00.000+08:00

Bukan rambut aq r. Rambut orang len.
Tapi nak sdih gak.
Ni sume hari anugerah and interview punya pasal.
and the fact that rambut tu duk cucuk cucuk mata.
Olo.

Aq jumpa tee.
Tapi aq ta suka leher dy.
Lantak r. Yang ni free and comes in two.
Kemas kemas almari jumpa dua baju same colour.
Ni rse cam nk kasi kat orang ni. Tapi dy pakai ke tee leher camtu.
Nk tanye ke nk bagi je. Hm.
Pikir pikir pikir. Hek.
Buat je la dulu lagipun tgh bosan ni.

Design aum aum ta wat lagi ni. Mane la nak cari baju tee bese bese je.
Sume luar bese je aq jmpe.
✖

#174 // hello my name is intan.

2011-04-15T23:24:00.002+08:00

✖ Quick Updates
April 21, 2011 Hari Anugerah Cemerlang SBP Integrasi Gopeng. 9.00am

April 25. 2011 MARA PILN interview. 11.00am

April 26, 2011 MARA PILN interview. ehemehem. 3.00pm

April 27, 2011 KPLSM interview. 11.00am

✖

#173 // bolasepak.

2011-04-14T22:01:00.002+08:00

Ko online lambat sgt untuk memberi kebenaran.

Spe ta kenal Izu Atikah yang suka merembat from other people punya album an.

sorry lah kalau internet korang lambat.

Ta dapat menikmati.

credits goes to ayss.tumblr

#172 // protonperoduaprothree

2011-04-14T20:35:00.001+08:00

Keje terbaru saya untuk compliment the surirumah tanpa tangga
driver.

Sejak dapat lesen 10.03.2011, dua hari lepas baru aq start bawak kete balek.
Dua hari lepas tu la first time aq bwk viva mak aq tu dgn lesen P.
Nasib baek muscle memory aq ta de la mengong sgt.
Then this morning aq gi skola jap.
Challenge myself bawak traffic light Bota yg agak mengong gak tu.
Hangkut Tyra Zainal skali, melepak Fatehah Nasir punya tempat keje. Koop sekolah.
Ta perasan lak aq Tyra ber photo photo time bila.
Dh la aq pegang steering satu tgn. Ops ops. Bukan bajet teror.
Aq tuka gear r bhai.
Hakhak.

Maka aq pn trigt kat hari dapat result.
Kan encik driver ironman? Ko pegi selekoh baek punya kat pekan Gopeng, ta warning suh pakai seatbelt lak tu. Naseb baek aq duk belakang sorang sorang. Haish. But its a beautiful memory.
Indeed it's beautiful.

peroton vs perodua. ke proton vs produa. haha.

#171 // awak awak awak.

2011-04-14T16:54:00.001+08:00

lamanya ta update blog. Rasa macam rindu pulak.

Tambah lagi ada orang mention aq dah lama ta update blog.

Hari ni macam bosan sket an so tweak2 sket log ni kasi nampak bersih sket.

Putih cam terang sket mata tgk. An3?

Aq baru tao semalam, rupanya ramai ingatkan aq dah ada balak. I was like pffffftttttt-------

"hwaaahahahahahahaha.

AQ dan BOYFRIEND doesn't have a ADA in between it.

It just doesn't fit me. Don't you think so?"

Like come on la. Kite blaja tingi2 dulu jom. Sampai gayat, lepas tu baru la nk ber-relationship2 ni oke.
Aq dgn ironman? Kami kawan la. Eh bkan, stalker dgn prey and pada masa yang sama konglomerat dgn PA. most inportantly he's not mine la. Baginda masih milik ketuanan Tuanku Abdul Rahim and there's no doubt about that. Aq dh berjanji dgn diri sendiri hadoi pun nye pun. Kumpul ilmu kumpul duit steady income baru pikir nk berkepit ngan anak teruna orang, oke. Hakhak.

Though.
Aq takut dgn banyak sgt mende sekarang. Actually bukan takut la, seriau.
Sekolarship yg aq apply sume ta dapat. YTN, TM, Petronas. Ta daaapaatttt...
MARA punye interview list release tommorow. Doakan aq dapat la yang itu. ameeen.
Yang paling sedih sekali, aq sian tengok kawan kawan aq yang nak sgt sgt jadi cikgu.
Nearly everyone in my previous school tak dapat KPLSPM
but aq yang ta teringin sgt nak jadi cikgu ni dapat pulak. Hadoi.
Mathematics SM. Ajar budak budak besar babe.
Aq hold kelab budak budak chomel la kat skola yang aq mengajar nanti. Hakhak.

Hoping for the best for MARA sekarang. Mana lah tau ada rezeki nak study oversea.
US UK Aust... um... mne ke lagi tah. Lupa dah. Kene revise kalau dpt interview ni.
KPLSPM pun nk kene study gak. Memacam test aq dgr diorang nak bagi.
Klu dah option Mathematics tu kene la bukak calculator balik.
Calculator aq actually maseh ngan cikgu Santhiyah lagi. Sejak kene rampas aq mana ada tuntut lagi.
Bersemadilah calculator kesayangan aq tu yang hampir dibaling Anuar time prank birthday dy, di dalam simpanan cikgu sejarahku time form 4. Kenangan ouh. Nyanyi lagu Yuna sebab nak hafal pengaruh Islam di Asia Tenggara dalam bahasa dan kesusasteraan. Sedap kot kitorang nyanyi. Standing ovation gitu.

✖

#170 // i don't hate blogger

2011-03-30T19:43:00.001+08:00

how many million days i haven't visited a single blogger account.
Well, kinda a lot.
Not that I totally abandoned blogger but I don't have the urge to make another update.
Super sorry to those you inbox me saying
"dah dapat straight A ta nak update blog"
and those yang sama waktu dengannya.
No lah.

I've been busy with borang, like I told you guys before.
Getting straight A's is not easy. Unless you born of a family with monthly income ++30k that is.
I can't got study if I don't have the money to pay the fee duhh.

Don't want to talk about sekolarships for once.
Tired of it the whole weekload of forms I really need to stop at some point. I'll choose today.

Some might have know how I do stalkerism. No don't freak out.
My prey knows that very well. He didn't even say a thing or refuse of me stopping stalking him.
What kind of guy is that.
and lately we've been getting along very well.
I mean like super well.
You know it when you see me clinging to my phone like the whole day texting.
I just don't do that with other people.
I got tired of texting very much easily.

I would take this chance to congratulate the straight A's student s of kitorunkbez.
Biruni pun boleh buat gak bhai! Empat orang pulak tu der.
My utmost congratulations to
Mohamad Firdaus blusher
Muhammad Asyraf renjers
Muhamad Nazrul Fahmi rokos
You guys the best la wa ckp sama lu.
bangga bangga.

Tahniah my dear aum2. My mum macam oke je you antar I balek umah aritu. Maybe because you got straight A's she began to gain confidence in you. I miss your driving gaya mak datin tu. Comel je bawak 50km/h kat jalan 90km/h limit.

#169 // quick.

2011-03-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

I'm stuck with borang borang and more borang to be filled.
so no updates for time being.
anyway I'm blessed with 9As for my spm.
thank you so much everyone who helped me very much a lot
throughout the years.

I got lots of ironman stories to tell.
but no time.
yikes.

#168 // fabric paint.

2011-03-22T01:20:00.001+08:00

arghhhh.
kenapa aq kelam gila malam ni.
since lepas isya' yang boleh dikir sebagai tahajud td otak aq rse macam terlebih push over.
macam gear 2 trus msuk gear 5..
pening duh. saket kepala pun ada gak.
ta de lah lewat sgt pun, bru kul 1 pagi je.

yang penting aq dah siapkan tee yg aq teringin gile nak wat from the first moment aq nmpak lukisan tu.
aum aum.
aum aum aum?
hahaha...
aum aum bole paham kan. gila comel doh ko buat aum aum tu.

weh nampak ta sketch book ko kat atas kotak hijau tu.
journal ko pun ada gak kat situ.
see there *points*

storynye cenggini.
mula mula aq dh nk wat dh bju ni. nk pakai jejalan la konon.
tapi fabric marker yg warna oren tu tak cantik.
serabut je so aq cuba cari fabric paint.
kat art store seri iskandar tu one small tube cost MYR16?!! fff----
ta de masa aq nk beli mahal cenggitu.
aq jumpa fabric dye kat popular tesco manjung. apa lagi, karya time la.
aq malas nk trace kat tee lain so aq tindih la atas yg oren tu.
hasilnya comel la sket dri yg oren tu.

phail phail phail.

#167 // song

2011-03-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

h a r i k e d u a p u l u h s a t u

we may only have tonight
but till the morning sun your mind.
my hearts beat like a drum
the moments your lips meet mine.

as if that would happen.
kekeke.

#166 // song danced to with bff

2011-03-20T01:03:00.001+08:00

h a r i k e d u a p u l u h d u a

senamrobik competition right.

#165 // my favourite song all time.

2011-03-19T14:24:00.000+08:00

h a r i k e d u a p u l u h s a t u

how this song fits every single day amaze me.
I used to sing this to my mum,
sang it for my korean bias,
now I sang it to myself
and my new bias.
far away.

#164 // last song in playlist

2011-03-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

h a r i k e d u a p u l u h

I don't even remember having this song in my folder.
lols.
but I do know I love this song once. ZeeAvi is so soulful.
That's what I like most about her.
She is so her.
Its special.

#163 // first song in playlist

2011-03-17T23:24:00.001+08:00

h a r i k e s e m b i l a n b e l a s

yup. the first song in my music folder alphabetically because I saved it as
01-Before-you-go---Homin of TVXQ.mp3
so its the 01 that makes it first on the list.

but

asdfk-----------xdkhslkhsdadasfjgjkfhsadjkgsdsafgjdfkjhkgkds *dies*
though i expected smthing like Timeless MV with part I and II
I guess this is kinda okay.
SM is trying to make a story MV. woohooooo. YG did it like years ago.
I hope there's an extended 1 hour version of this one.
it deserve a longer airtime. need more emotion moments to it.
and I love the song. so beautiful. homin really improve a lot vocally.

#162 // megoplex!

2011-03-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

Ejat finally sent me all photos from our megoplex trip. oh yeah oh yeah!
Right after our visit to Cikgu Midah punya kenduri.
kyaaaaaaaaaa
rupanya ada gak tersesat gambar aq ngan ironman dalam tu.
the only photo yang ada aq ngan dy je, dalam dunia ni ada tu je la rasanya.
ta sangka tul aq sanggup share top up MYR5 kat ejat sbb nak mms gmbar2 ni je.
gila gak aq ni.

kejadah wajah anda yang tersebut?

hakhak.

and result SPM is like a week lagi.

gila bapak cuak r weh. Aq serious ta tahu apa yang terpaksa aq hadap naty kat depan Cikgu Lawa.

harap2 lawa lah gak. Doa aq sekarang ada add-on sket.

buka pintu rezeki sambung study tempat yang elok.

moga2 dapat scholarship ta nak susahkan family

lastly, doa dapat ipt yang sme ngan ironman bole?

bole la aq sambung jadi stalker lagi. haha.

#161 // song I love but rarely listen

2011-03-16T12:50:00.009+08:00

h a r i k e l a p a n b e l a s

my almighty love. but I don't even know why I didn't listen to it much.
though I know I would smile dance and cry at the same time listening to this.
oh my its 7 years ago.
every member barely reach the age of 17.

#160 // song made me wanna dance

2011-03-15T12:50:00.008+08:00

h a r i k e t u j u h b e l a s

I'm weird cause I want to dance to sad song like this. lols.
IU, if I were born a guy I would be a diehard fanboy of this girl.
She's so perfectly her.
ottoke?

#159 // song had made me cry

2011-03-14T12:50:00.005+08:00

h a r i k e e n a m b e l a s

I don't even remember why I cried.
I guess its one of those times
when you listen to a song in the middle of the night
and have the urge to cry
because of something you know is painful but you don't even know what was painful.

#158 // song i love singing along to

2011-03-13T12:50:00.004+08:00

h a r i k e l i m a b e l a s

now sing along with me too.
ta bole doh dengar lagu ni ta nyanyi skali.
rasa cambes je klu sing along.

memandang bulan terang menyaksi bintang bintang
kau seru akulah pelangi cintamu.

#157 // song of boyfriend

2011-03-12T12:50:00.011+08:00

h a r i k e e m p a t b e l a s

just because.
ironman like this song.
and I like the band.
♥

#156 // song remind of former friend

2011-03-11T12:50:00.011+08:00

h a r i k e t i g a b e l a s

Fatini Aqilah, aq sumpah rindu ko sangat sangat.
Aq slalu suruh ko tolong ingatkan aq dulu kan.
Sbb ko duduk depan aq dalam class, ta mungkin aq dapat lupakan ko senang je.
Aq sentiasa doakan ko selamat di sana.
I gila miss your smile doh.

#155 // song i last heard

2011-03-10T12:45:00.017+08:00

h a r i k e d u a b e l a s

oh yeah Big Bang!

Neoreul chajaseo oeo nal bichwojuneun jeo dalbicharaero

Geudael chajaseo oeooo kkeuchi eodinji moreugetjiman hey

Toonaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-----------ight~

Toonaaa-----------ight!

dance dance

#154 // soundtrack of favourite movie

2011-03-09T12:43:00.011+08:00

h a r i k e s e b e l a s

its weird for me to be liking a malay movie.
but this one is good. I actually cried watching this.
thanks Sorahatul Amizah for the late night movie out inside.
this movie somehow open my heart to malay movies...

#153 // song of favourite band

2011-03-08T12:43:00.008+08:00

h a r i k e s e p u l u h

ironman indirectly introduced these people to me.
they're good. and Muda sound better in studio.
crappy videocam used.

#152 // song makes me hopeful

2011-03-07T12:43:00.008+08:00

h a r i k e s e m b i l a n

I keep praying, don't forget
baby we keep the faith eternally.

yes I will.

#151 // song of the first love

2011-03-06T12:43:00.008+08:00

h a r i k e l a p a n

when I got transfered to asrama he told me to listen to this.
I cried obviously.

#150 // song of the past summer

2011-03-05T12:43:00.016+08:00

h a r i k e t u j u h

Last summer I still liked Bieber a bit.
sorry Bieber you just got ONE LESS ~~LONELY~~FANGIRL
He's too famous, I started to dislike him.
seriously.

but I still love this song though.
I need somebody ah ah I need somebody
Somebody to loooooooooove!

#149 // song of a bestfriend

2011-03-04T12:43:00.010+08:00

h a r i k e e n a m

Fatin Nabila Ishak Hisyam.
This so is for you baby, cause you're so fucking cute.
Thanks for making my days in Gopenghagen not so bad.
If fact it was fun indeed since you're always around
when I need someone to syok sendiri with.
Aq baru perasan aq banyak perasan bagus bila dengan ko.
I love you so much sayang.

#148 // a song that stuck in your head

2011-03-03T15:16:00.000+08:00

h a r i k e l i m a

I learned about this song I guess 3 years ago?
During a camp a friend of mine only have this very single song which was sang by asian.
and now it won't go out my mind so easily.
Yeah damn I only listen to this for like 2 weeks.

#147 // a song that calms you down

2011-03-02T21:17:00.001+08:00

h a r i k e e m p a t

Yiruma's beautiful composition never failed to sooth my heart down.
Whenever I went anxious over something
I just grab my mp3 player and start shuffling through my Yiruma playlist.
convenient yao.

#146 // home alone.

2011-03-02T11:56:00.001+08:00

not really. my grandma is here tapi aq bkan ada ckp apa apa ngan dy pun.
bosan bosan lepas menjalankan kerja kerja surirumahtangga tanpa suami
aq try la bukak yahoo mail yang dah berhabuk tu.
perghh. fb sahaja 6000 lebih doh unread email.
berapa tahun dah aq tak bukak email aq ni.

paling lawak ialah background image utk log in page yahoo mail yg aq jumpa aryni.
kenapalah aq teringat kat sorang manusia je bila aq tgk image tu.
like among all yahoo adds yg ada mengapa adds yg satu ni teramatlah
menjurus kepada homosapien tersebut.
haish. ehemironmanehem.

Hello March! Goodbye February.
new playlist;
IU - Story Only I Didn't Know
Yangpa - Can You Hear Me (Tears in Heaven OST)
new background coming soon, maybe. kalau aq rajin cari yang baru. hakhak.

#145 // song remind about parents

2011-03-01T11:30:00.000+08:00

h a r i k e t i g a

My mum was is will always be a bollywood maniac I guess.

Everything about Shah Rukh Khan remind me of her.

Like how much me is being related to Korea halyu and dance and senamrobik.

lols.

#144 // batman!

2011-03-01T00:04:00.001+08:00

no no. its not that kind of batman.
lately I got myself into this whole super heroes thing.
it all started with ironman
and now i have oniichan, batman.

I wanted to say, thank you so much batman
you made me felt more secured and visible.
Though we never talked in real life
but you treated me like we known each other for ages.
Just keep being you, that's all I need.

#143 // song remind most 'bout ex.

2011-02-28T22:58:00.001+08:00

h a r i k e d u a

I still remember a week after, I wanted to phone him but
suddenly the radio turned on and played this song.

I kinda felt bad for him, but was for the best.

You're like my first and only guy I had in my whole 15years of life.

You really can't expect me to forget you that easily, right.

I know you are trying to do now. I'm sorry dude.

I did let you go, and I can't take you back.

Don't come clinging to me again like that, it felt like two years ago came back to me.

It suffocates me and makes me hate myself for turning you down.

Please, let me go too. Get a life. I know you can do better than now without me.

I don't hate you. Seriously, I never did.

#142 // a song from your childhood.

2011-02-27T18:23:00.001+08:00

h a r i p e r t a m a

yup. I grow up with Disney on the tv all day long.

I hate Astro for producing all those Malay dub for Disney shows.

It kills the child's ability to learn English through eye hurting experience.

#141 // 25days song challenge.

2011-02-27T17:57:00.002+08:00

yup. i'll be doing this for a while.

some of them I still didn't see coming.
and yeah I might do dual songs cause most of them would end up
being a JYJHoMin/TV5XQ song again.
I'm going for a variety this time.
yay me!

#140 // can you, will you?

2011-02-26T23:44:00.003+08:00

Like the sun that shines outside your window

I will be with you wherever you go

Through the night you’ll feel my heart still beating next to yours

Right by your side, forever I will stay

Till the morning comes. my prayers will speak the truth

Like the whisper on the wind, my voice will call to you

Can you hear me

‘cross the distance, words take flight,

Carried on the wings iof angels.

Been two days and a half ignoring you, so called.
Though I've been thinking about you every minute I had to myself.
Even when I talk to other people.
Well said cause everything they thought about while talking to me is the fact that I like you so.

I just realize my blogger life only begun, as a text message is received from you.
Sometimes tumblr is so true to me, it made me cry.

#139 // well that is amusing.

2011-02-24T01:01:00.002+08:00

I found out something really shocking today.

Even if its just a day but to be remembered and thought of everytime a song is heard,

something I never expected from a guy.

Nostalgic.

Kinda terharu too.

I did have a nerve vibing tingles in me when you came into my mind. At times you are cute too.
The terpaku part really caught me off guard.

p/s I lulus JPJ test for car. now the real challenge. bikes!

#138 // no green light please.

2011-02-23T01:01:00.000+08:00

please let me stop at all traffic lights on time.

I hope I don't have to stop abruptly, jpj test tommorow.

terima kasih.
skema betul la ko ni.
tapi ko eja ujian salah jugak. haish ujinan ap tu . . .
tak paham betul aq.

#137 // just get rid la those.

2011-02-22T00:44:00.002+08:00

haha. today ko upload gmbr from that najib boston album. thankyou la.

hari ni aq dah berjaya mendapat mende baru untuk dirembat.

*baling dlm kotak rahsia

hoi ironman. kenapa la ko tak nak shave those off. rimas la aq tengok.
kalau clean shaven macam ni kan lagi comel.
lagi aq suka.

esok I'll drive again. just now got tips from blusher and ironman.
gain a bit la confidence. risaunya lusa dah test jpj.

#136 // design.

2011-02-21T02:10:00.001+08:00

hoo. i found out we can make gifs in PS. gonna start after finish with driving..
making gifs is fun la.

but today is typograph day. cause actually Sir Fazli uploaded the preview for handfan of IGOP
but the mutiara one makes me go 'ughh'.
I was bored so I made these.

turns out he liked it. and he would use this one along with the other he made for other houses.
more in his fb album. sent them through email around. um. just now. lols.
here's the rest. kinda simple but i like it when hand fans are easily read from a far.

personal favourite.
i wish these come true.

#135 // high high.

2011-02-19T23:21:00.001+08:00

I want three pretty boys free when I buy these tshirts from NII.

Maybe I should become a fashion photographer to be able to meet these boys.

Ughh.

I want those NII tshirts. so cute. Yoochun's share love without any hunger.

and Jae's let everyone love with happiness

and Junsu's make our love visible

and . . .

omo so cute I want eat them all.
and the hair. I wish boys around me have hair like that.

what do they talk about anyway?

smthing about the HEART campaign, then Yoochun wants us to support and love the campaign

then the "please love junsu a lot, please teng teng teng love yoochun a lot, please skip jaejoong??"

#133 // tumblr spam.

2011-02-18T23:08:00.001+08:00

people in facebook are going to hate me for sure. spammed too much changmin on his birthday.

hey. imagine loving the same guy for 4 years,

who can resist the temptition of posting how much they grown on their b-day.

this post though is going to focus on MIRZA RAZIN, the son of along, Lea's older sister.
he grown up as much as my changmin do. but he's not 188cm yet.
if a two tears old is 188 cm I wonder how tall he would be by 23.
picspam does all the trick always.
spidermannnn!!

photos by tyra zainal.

#132 // hpy bdy.

2011-02-18T02:10:00.001+08:00

happy birthday shim changmin.

180288

my first ever bias.
I used to like kattun a lot but I don't do bias or whatsoever with them.
I do with DongBangShinKi though. that one photo of him "yup, he's the one. i love him most."
everyday my love for you grows and grows.
until my love grown taller than your godlike figure. 188cm.
stop growing changmin. i have to look up so high to look at your face, i don't need ladder.
188 - 157 = 31cm. I feel so small.
happy birthday.
model maknae.
forever I'll be by your side.

#131 // baby be mine

2011-02-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

on a korean drama frenzy. this girl is so beautifully carved. stylish and pretty. so envious la me.

One look from you boy and it’s too hard to get by
But excuse me boy, I've been watchin you all night

That’s right,

I’d like to take this night over
What I’m tryin to say is you should be mine
He should be my
Baby, baby
Baby, baby
Baby, baby
He should be my boy

Wanna make you my somebody
Wanna see this world with you
So hard to find love like this
Chances are far and few
No other one can have you
I want you to myself
My heart is open for you all life long

Said I know he wanna be mine, tonight
He should know that I can please mine, for life
And we gonna have a good time, yeah
When I tell you boy it’s alright
You gon be my boy

-be my girl~~boy~~ by JYJ

#130 // journey.

2011-02-16T03:56:00.003+08:00

I am continuing my journey.

a friend met her ending but mine still holds on.

no one know how long I would live.

but I know I should live my life the best it is.

I know she would want me to if she is still here.

ironman-ya!
I'm asking you a favor.
I told you I hated the way you always pulls me back to you everytime we talk.
but
don't stop, please.
Calming myself down, I had less pain,
than not texting you the rest of the day.
Can I ask you another favor?
come to my dream everyday
I love the warmth you gave me
even if its just another theater play in my head while asleep.

I miss seeing you.

#129 // al-fatihah.

2011-02-13T12:27:00.002+08:00

you left too soon. Gods love her more than we do.

21061993 - 13022011

AL-FATIHAH.

2.30am not exact.

Last night she decided to give up and so does the doctor.

A friend told me the day he visited no people are allowed to come in

but just yesterday the doors are open,

and it just meant one thing.

The end is soon.

Fatini Aqilah.

In the end you decided to leave us here,

I pray you are safe in the afterlife.

Amin.

I'm gonna mis your smile.

I'm gonna miss your low cut pajamas.

I'm gonna miss your glowing lolipops.

I'm gonna miss to zerox your homework.

I'm gonna miss the day we laughed together.

I'm gonna miss you so.

I'll remember you always.

#128 // tears dried

2011-02-09T11:37:00.004+08:00

I haven't done teasing you yet. Don't leave me. . .

Fatini Aqilah. You be strong no matter what.
Everyday you used to sit in front of me, smiling always.
Each time I got bored I pushed your feet off the desk, then you would make that face, though you're bad at being furious, I knew you hated me doing that. I would come to your dorm at night just to say hi, then made fun of your pajamas. You were never truly angry at me. You never pinched me like you did to others. I remembered your birthday so well. We kidnapped you, all wet and cold but you still smiled. You always let me copy your homework, you never whined about that. I took you for granted. You are so innocent and sincere, you hate it when people act two faced. You just cannot stop yourself from smiling all day, even when you're pissed you still smile. I admire you for that.

I MISS YOUR SMILE.

Fatini Aqilah. Wake up please. Wake up and smile to me again.

You said I could read Mr Midnight. You promised me.

Wake up already... I miss you so much...

Tini-ah... Be strong. Don't leave me so soon.

p/s Classmate. She bruised herself, got the flu virus, bad immune, lung failure, leukimia, kidney failure. How can all these happen in just 5 days. I don't want to blame the camp, but I can't. PLKN just sucks.

#127 // oh my muscle.

2011-02-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

dah la muscle aq bnyak dah hilang lama tak naik tangga. lenguhnya bawak moto lama lama.

nampak sangat tak biasa.

I must truthfully say I hate the original song too much. But this lady here flipped me 180
I love her cover. Heart heart heart 1000x. Lols.
Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted

We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it
You be up on everything, other guys ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it ♥
I say baby you're the best, baby you're the best
Baby you're the best, baby you're the best
You the best I ever had, best I ever had
Best I ever had, best I ever had . . .

Been on the bike for two days. Mannn my back is hurting like hell. and I never knew sleeping just makes the whole thing worst. I woke up not feeling anything in my arms. Both my slowlylosingmuscle arms was paralyzed for the worst 10 minutes ever, I thought I would give up biking. Lols. I paid so no excuses to not come again to the school on Thursday.

p/s I miss ironman so much but I was too concerned for the possibility of me being an annoy-able encounter.

#126 // huuuu...

2011-02-07T22:53:00.002+08:00

promise broken. no more daily updates ke?

one thing I don't like about balik kampung Johor is the fact that there is no way you can go online

unless you go to the nearest McD which my dad hates the most.

Blusher kept his hair long and I didn't know. Weh you look good la like this. You look way better this way than that Sasuke-Goku thing you tried before. I thought you were doing cosplay or something. Hakhak. Kudos to you.

4 days in the sinking state of Johor. I didn't have to swim though. Photos. All I had to do there was to take photos, but turns out I didn't took much. Why? No mood la. And since another cousin of mine who is also the bride's older brother takes photo like crazy too, I really lost my interest. Dah la panas, kipas mana haaaa??

I wasn't dumbfounded to see only 18 notifications in Facebook. I've been inactive lately. but Tumblr. omg I want to read them all but how many pages are those, when its gonna endddddddd. It's not a bad thing though. I'll let myself swim in the ocean of Homin hotness.

I love boys hair styled like this.

and then then fling-whipp them back and forth like this.

Min's epic phail.

#125 // happy february.

2011-02-02T04:59:00.000+08:00

let's eat a lot of oranges. more min moreee

I ate 10 already today.

Happy Lunar New Year.
I'm off to Johor till Sunday
still unsure about updating this blog daily.
things had gotten off my hand lately.
Yes, I'm updating this at 5 in the morning.
I haven't slept since 10 morning next thing to do is pack things into the car
and get going to that place underwater.
People are evacuating the flooded area
but my family and I are driving our way there. Hella wedding.
Why do so many people get married nowadays.

New month, new background. but it's still dark and black.
and new song.
I.D.S (I Deal Scenario) - JYJ
Journey (Paradise Ranch OST) - TVXQ
i may put 10 songs in the playlist but these two favourite group of mine will never leave the list. lols.

off/

#124 // ko tak kan faham.

2011-02-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

kenapalah aq pilih untuk suka kat budak ni?

ko tau tak yang aq rindu gile nak kaco ko.
ko pernah tak terfikir berapa banyak kali aq pegang fon aq
pikir punya lama, nak hantar mesej ke tak
aq dah bosan bukak facebook tapi ko tak online
ko tak tahu punya bengang aq bila fon aq vibrate
tapi bukan ko yang msg, Hotlink bagi mesej.

aq tahu yang ko tak pernah rasa aq ni special.
tapi aq harap ko tahu yg ko luar biasa bagi aq.
aq pasti kotak tahu yang tadi aq gembira sangat nampak ko online.
kita exchange words sikit je tapi tu cukup untuk teman aq dua tiga hari lagi.
aq harap ko tak benci aq
aq tak kesah la kalau ko ta rasa aq special
aq cuma harap ko tak benci aq.

punca kegembiraan.

#123 // i'm crying for this.

2011-01-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

I want touch screen cell phone!
Curse you Korean drama. No one in Korea use phones with keypad and now I want one too.
I need work so I can get money.
어떻게(How)???

I love phones with straight angle. They look cool, no?

#122 // penat la.

2011-01-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

I got addicted to Joowon(Hyunbin)'s longevity tongue twister.
The one he recite everytime he had to put something out of his mind.

Kim Suhanmoo

keobugiwa durumi

samcheongabja Dong Bang Sak

Chichigapo Sarisarisaenta

Woriwori Saepeurika

Moodoosella gureumi

heorikaein dambyeorak

seosaengwonae goyangyi

badookineun Doldolri.

#121 // i nearly hated driving

2011-01-29T23:46:00.001+08:00

i didn't know what fell over me today. but i really do pissed my head off this morning.

the whole clutch-gas relationship doesn't go well in my head today.
the engine just love to die on me.
i hated those moments the most.
like nothing ever goes my way.
i called a friend, well that really soothe me a bit
though the way i talk to him is as if i enjoyed making those mistakes, i really don't
the whole 4wheel and 2wheel disaster ended around noon.
i checked my credit balance. got MYR1.31 still.
texted ironman. he knows when to reply so early.
it didn't even took 1 minute for him to reply my texts.
thanks a lot you really saved me.
pull me out of underworld.
i was damn hungry and annoyed. not with others but with myself...
my head and leg just don't don't work the same alignment.
why?!

#120 // what i left a week ago.

2011-01-28T12:32:00.002+08:00

what is that? uh oh. driving rite.

Not much happen yet another drama marathon.
I shall be awake till 2 again today. Since I loaded too much episodes.
Tommorow got driving lesson. Finally I can get my hands on those steering wheels.
Been longing to do so since forever.
Lately I haven't been in contact with ironman though.
I was too absorb with the computer, I forgot to connect with people on the phone.
Not that I contacted anyone other than ironman alone.
The only person that texted me for hours, how can I not miss him so dearly these days.

YA! i said i miss you so much already...!

# Today's drama list;

Paradise Ranch Ep2
Secret Garden Ep12-13

#119 // hard to say i love you.

2011-01-27T12:09:00.000+08:00

everyday i'll tell you i miss you so.

hari ni drama marathonnnn.
I thought I watch a lot though. Loading takes like forever so again I made another art collab.
This time the rabbit one pulak. Tapi macam pelik je. Haha.
I made this one half the total time than before.

# Today's drama list;

Paradise Ranch Ep1
Dream High Ep1-4
Secret Garden Ep10-11
Kiss me, Kill Me Movie
Nineteen Movie
Time Traveler Movie
Cyborg Girl Movie
Jungle Fish 2 Ep3-4

now what should I watch tommorow?

#118 // ayyy boy.

2011-01-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

i'm so lucky to be in here. active facebook smtimes bole msuk blog org fewmes.

ngantuk la pulak lepas menghadap screen computer for like 5 hours
staring Photoshop as if it would run away.
i've been making this. another nazrulfahmi twistedshoelace art collaboration.
sukati aq je letak mende2 macam tu.
aq telah berjaya mengubah traditional art nazrulfahmi kepada digital art.
arnab aq wat esok, ok?
enjoy.

#117 // hands on laptop.

2011-01-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

i found my thumbdrive again.now i can upload my drawings.

a lot has been on but i don't have the space to tell you all about it.

and probably it would make this place stuffy.

does anyone happen to recognize who these are?
one more here

#116 // i will never deny my heart

2011-01-24T13:25:00.002+08:00

drowning in jyj's empty. idk why i can't seems to leave the song alone.

People!
I got my L licence today but no picture.
I don't seem to be able to capture a load of energy and lazy virus has be evading me lately.
This blog is getting emptier lately.
Curse you tumblr!
No-no. I love that place and that another place I hang out a lot.
ehem-ehem Menyimpan memory. To Norliyana Mat Kamis "Aq dah tutup blog yang aq tunjuk kat ko ary tu. Aq wat tumblr account for that purpose instead. Lagi chomel dong ♥"

Since this place is kind of e-m-p-t-y omg!!
I'm gonna share this little sketches person made. ehemironmanehem.
Boy that tiger one is so cute. Can I transfer it to a tshirt? Would you want one.
Make it couple tshirt. Hakhak. Kidding.

#115 // how strong is me?

2011-01-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

i'm not that strong though. but i can wait anyway.

and these are totally not mine.

The best sketch in that book I rembat from ironman.
I wish I took the one with more complete drawings. Mostly here are half sketches or face only stuffs.
How dumbass I was to thought that ironman was trying to ignore me. turns out he just . . . um. being him.
That hardheadedwhateveryoutalkaboutmeIdon'tgiveadamn person.
Haha. you might me reading this too though.

I had a thought of making another blog since this one is fairly an open book in an exhibition
for the world to view and enjoy
but I got lazy enough to cancel that idea of registering another. I'll throw everything here still.
Not moving another inch away from this place
I call Public Diary.

Slowly I cannot help myself but describe a person very directly and personally in here.
I seriously need to stop right.
btw I have a tumblr account now.
at the moment it is full of my boys, TVXQ. *getseyesrolled* Whatt??
That place is full of HQ photos of them. I'm a reblogaholic you know. Spreading the love. Lols
I should stop fangirling.

I changed my background image and colour pallet too! Even updated my music playlist.

Now you shall listen to Empty - JYJ and SHE - TVXQ. Empty is an English song actually. And SHE is a Korean song. I love the melody and the lyrics in both song.

Empty - JYJ

Love won’t make you cry or ask why Oh why

So I’ll deny my heart cause I won’t live a lie Why you try

Your heart is empty, And you’re so cold

You don’t care about you and I

Your heart is empty, You won’t let go

But I’m walkin out this life

Why can’t you let it go

SHE - TVXQ[Homin]

눈감아도 보여요

I can see even with my eyes closed

멀리 있어도 알아요

I can recognize even if she’s far away from me

그녀가 얼마나 예쁜 사람인 건지

Imagine how pretty she is

손도 못 대겠는 걸요

Even if I don’t touch

깨져 버릴 것 같아요

It feels like she’s breaking like a Glass

그녀가 얼마나 여린 사람인 건지

Imagine how fragile she is

Haha.
Another rubish post indeed.
Except for the drawing, rite.
It's amazing. That's why I ♥ the one who drew it.
Hakhak.

#114 // why can't i let you go.

2011-01-22T11:59:00.003+08:00

well. i never thought i could own you anyway.

like damn terribly man.
oi ironman! if you ever read this, i bet you do since you wanted to see the picture of you i drew right
two days i didn't kaco you. miss me ta? hakhak.
ko mesti rasa cam nak lempang aq or bagi kaki kat aq an.
no no no
bota kampar sangat jauh. kaki ko confirm tak sampai. hakhak.

recently i found out i actually have a lot of silent readers.
i thought i had none since this place is full of rubbish anyway.
well to my silent readers, terima kasih sudi membaca.
these are sincerely mine so if you have any problems, BACK OFF!
lol. kidding kidding. but seriously i don't like it if you spread bad word about me or people i talk about here.
this blog is seriously like a personal diary to me. since i don't have any traditional written one.
also sorry to the readers who is unlikely into KPOP that I tend to mix a lot of it into here.
that shall never happen again cause i reopened my livejournal account specially for that fangirl side of me.
human is like a cassette anyway. got side A and side B.
hakhak.

i remembered during SPM, everyone around me was reading thick reference book like crazy
but i was holding onto a pencil and a small note book.
some even praised me for making a quick note for exams
well actually most was fooled cause i didn't read notes,
i was drawing. curse me for not studiying. damn like tommorow is science paper and yet tonight I still draw
don't blame me. trust me drawing is addictive
and i have atherio-i-must-finish-what-i-started-a-titis
ironman. here's for you.
well i had you in mind when i drew it. somehow it doesn't really look like you though cause
i suck at drawing face. i have a few so do tell me if you want to see the rest.
ada like 3 4 drawings of you.

mine is not as good as yours though.

#113 // i need me!

2011-01-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

someone needs to bring back the me in me. i'm lost of ME?!

I just don't feel like writing up now.
This is yesterday thoough. Cameron, Cactus Point. Last time we went there we met Diddy of Academy Fantasia. He's quite cute that time. Yeah that time. Usually he's not so you can say that he's cuter in person than in photos.

Out of idea. Ending this post with a <33

#112 // i need you by me.

2011-01-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

cameron sangat sejuk, bila ada breeze je la. kalau ta panas gak.

The lyric means a lot to ~~me.~~ to all of us.

My dear Jung Yunho, Shim Changmin, Kim Jaejoong, Park Yoochun & Kim Junsu,

I know things are hard these day but I want to say

us Cassiopeia will always stay by your side

as the fans of JYJ and TVXQ.

We will never leave you alone.

When you feel alone and cold, please remember us because

no matter how long it might take

and how hard the journey might be,

the stars will always shine upon us.

As long as it shines, and thou sings

As long as we stand, and this gives life to thee.

4th live tour; Tokyo Dome

Always keep the faith.

TV5XQ

Cassiopeia bleed Pearl Red.

try looking at this while listening to 'she' without crying.
i can't. really can't.

#111 // don't want an ending

2011-01-19T18:16:00.001+08:00

i know this is suppose to be so yesterday.

This song reminded me to my last day at school after Biology paper ended.
The night everyone started packing to go straight home the nxt morning
I was there at the hostel lobby watching tv with cellphone in my hands.
Ironman was in the lobby too but the boys' hostel's. Hakhak.
I really hope that moment was not the ending
it really wasn't
and I'm glad.

Things just don't go my way yesterday.
I got headache to the point I can't lift my head.
The whole morning I was a heavy duty worker
then the evening the drilling in my head started till the next morning
cause I sleep at 2.
Thanks to ironman who unintentionally keep me company the whole night.

#110 // this is why you're cute

2011-01-18T18:18:00.003+08:00

❝ I turned out liking you

a lot more than I

originally planned.

#109 // i thought i would drive

2011-01-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

turns out i didn't.

semalam tak contact. rindoooooooooooooo gile.
hari ni tak kire nak kaco jugak.
turns out hari ni ironman tak pegi kebun.
msg punye msg kredit pulak kong.
dah la kena tercongok kat kantin driving school 3 jam sebab kete tak de.
lnggar lembu.
so check in kul 9, 3 jam, kul 12 check out.
bajet aq dah gi amali 3 jam tu
petang tadi baru proses lesen aq. minggu depan baru dapat.
lama nye nak tunggu merasa drive kete buat pertama kali.
smpai uma msg lagi. hakhak.
pastu boleh pulak ironman tertido.
lepas maghrib sambung lagi ni.
memang lepas rindu aq. ta boleh bla langsung kan aq.
open je sekarang. arh mampus r.
hidup aq blog aq.

#108 // how can i

2011-01-16T23:14:00.004+08:00

i miss you already.

#107 // doings.

2011-01-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

why does jaejoong fill my recent days?

meet my new boyfriend.

JAAAEEEEJJJOOOOONNNGGGGGG ilysm ♥

went for Car 101 Talk. no practical class.
home then went to Manjung, help mum with her stuffs.
home then discovered Sunao ni Narenakute.
how come I knew about it soo late??
watching

soon watching Paradise Ranch/ Paradise Meadow which ever the right one...

#106 // you made me laugh so bad.

2011-01-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

my mum thinks I am crazy.

What does it means when something ordinary a person did to you, able to make you laugh your ass off?

Just now some other person nudge me on facebook asking for interesting videos. Ugh. I just trow in some videos I thought to be interesting. I actually stop working through mum's website just to find a decent video for him, then he just insulted me and call me stupid. FECK OFF! He really pissed me. All of a sudden he went offline. wtf? I really lost interest to continue working on mum's website. Ironman was online.

Well, u know what happen next, no?

Terima kasih buat aq ketawa.
Both logged off, I can't help but to find my phone.

   You : Ko la bdk... i'm a man...
   Me : Ur Kino. Monsterous man.
   You : U r juana... hai mummy...hak3
   Me : Wut?

#105 // teneneng~ 1 new msg received!

2011-01-13T20:51:00.001+08:00

i never thought i would fall for you one day.

After huffling with my dad's Modenas yang sangat berat and tinggi last night, I really got the idea of riding a bike now. As in bike with engine. Duhh...
I was like "Saya tak tahu apa apa langsung cikgu. Macam mana nnniieeee?"
then when I involuntarily pulas minyak after ignition and quickly change to gear 1, he just said "Kamu tipu saya. Dah pernah bawak dah ni. Dah. Saya tak payah ajar dah ni. Masuk gear 3, jalan sampai roundabout patah balik. Gooo...!" Everyone laughed.

It wasn't that bad though. Suddenly I lead the never-road-a-bike batch round the circle track. When we finally tawaf the track 5 times, I was getting dizzy, the cikgu said to me again, "Kamu tipu saya eh tadi, sedap je kamu bawak laju tadi" I admit leaving the others quite far behind me. Much lol for the first day.

#104 // no money, no love?

2011-01-12T22:25:00.001+08:00

I win the bet. Now I can get my presents.

Outdated text, I know. but you can see that this is my favorite text I got from someone. Though I would never knew the level of sincereness this text carry, I'm sure I would smile unconditionally looking back at this text later in the future. Let me be a close friend of your forever, no?

I nearly failed the Road Safety (KPP) test this morning! I got 45/50 and the pass mark is friggin' 42! I expected something higher and thought I would flunk Section C, the one with the laws and KEJARA thinggy. Instead I scored 10/10 for that. I got the signs wrong for 2 question and 3 for the Pemandu Berhemat section. Lol much. Guess my time taken!

9 minutes!

I didn't even realize I was answering too fast. The moment I stood up then it came to my mind even the 4 people called up long before I was still haven't done their test. Mentioning a 'his' reminded me of the other two guys who came along with my agent this morning. Quite cute and they are brothers or twins, not sure, most probably twins. The downside was that they are too shy or else I would had owned their numbers. Harhar. Somehow they really look alike and resembles Afiq Hakim a lot. and by a lot I mean A LOT in capitals.

45 is obviously less than 48 which ironman bet on me. So I'm getting my reward. I got to upload his drawings. Soon this place would be full of his doodles from inside the sketch book I rembat. Harhar. Just wait and see

what would two bored girls 'discuss' . . .

#103 // anak ayah.

2011-01-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

cuak lah pulak tak baca lagi buku kpp tu.

Hekhek.
Pagi tadi aq bangun lambat lah pulak. Susa betul nk bangun kalau tido balek lepas subuh ni. First thing dalam kepala otak aq 'Alamak macam mana nak kaco budak ni, dah pukul 10, kena basuh baju lagi kemas uma lagi.'. Mengalah dengan keje keje yang mak aq bagi. Buat semua sampai habis, dalam pukul 12 baru aq bebas nak buat aktiviti sendiri. Mandi belum lagi tu.

Baring kejap depan tv.
Tiba tiba nampak henfon. Nafsu memang kuat betul nak pegi kaco orang tu.
Pres pres pres send.
5 minit lepas tu 'tenetet tring~' dapat reply! Nampaknya ironman dah ada kat negeri seberang teman ayah kesayangan gi medical checkup. Jauhnya sampai ke negeri kawan aq sorang tu pulak ehemamoyehem. Ta pe lah lepak lepak tengah umah main msg. Time mum aq balik antar adik adik baru teringat petang ni kena pegi amik gambar untuk lesen. Esok pulak tu nak nye. Petang tu jugak pegi kedai gambar. Tunggu mum balik mesyuarat pulak, msg la lagi. Mandi sekejap, msg lagi. Kat kedai gambar pun msg jugak sampai orang tu tanya nak edit ke tak pun aq jawab tak jawab je. Maka clear lah muka aq dalam gmbar tuh. Tengok atas tu, bersih je sedangkan parut ta hilang hilang lagi. Haha.

Esok nak ambik test undang undang ni. Study nye belum lagi. malam ni lagi mum aq dah bising suruh pakai baju muslimah sikit. Semua sebab agen aq tuh agen orang pegi haji jugak. Huh ikut je lah, syurga bawah telapak kaki ibu kan. Huuu... Nasib baik skinny boleh pakai lagi.

#102 // unpredictable.

2011-01-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

and because he is so, I'll just let him surprise me every time.

Hidup ni seronok kalau ada orang sekeliling kita yang rajin melayan lawak bodoh kita, loyar buruk kita, ngada ngada kita. Kalau hidup yang gembira camtu, then aq hidup dengan sangat gembira. Orang yang aq concern sanggup layan comment aq panjang panjang sampai lewat malam. Text aq sampai kul 3~4 pagi sampai dy tertido dulu. Sian kat dy sebab aq insomnia hari tu. Sebenarnya tak pun. Aq ta sanggup nk lepaskan dy. Takut esok aq dah ta dapat sembang dengan ko lagi. Aq ni pun kawan ko je kan. boleh buang bila bila je.

Terima kasih ko dah buat aq gembira sepanjang aq kat rumah ni.
Bosan tak de kawan kawan. Kalau facebook tutup nanti aq dah ta boleh nk jadi stalker ko lagi. Ta boleh nak rembat barang barang ko lagi. Sian kat aq pulak. Hm.

Aq confirm akan kaco budak ni esok.
Aq pun bosan gak.

#101 // growing up.

2011-01-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

Now I have to concern about these.
Actually a friend of mine out of nowhere started to clush me with links for scholarships. I got too lazy to bookmark the whole thing. I'm just gonna quickly dump it here.
And because today is 110111 I guess post #101 fits the day very well.

out.

commenting with dy today.

seronok seronok.

#100 // two life shall separate

2011-01-09T23:08:00.001+08:00

someone wished my was fist on their face!

A long night indeed.
Doing some finishing touch on my mum's workplace blog.
Had a favour on building them a blog.
No money back though. Charity work, never wish it to last long. Which is why I made it simple. Cha-cha
I was interflying between blogger and facebook.
Then this guy came boolsitting kpop out of nowhere.
No that I did any harm to him. He came popping into a video I shared (KYHD MRRemoved)
asking whether he missed something at least good to listen to.
I just back off but the bash keep going on. I just have to fight back, no no you cannot say those in my fb wall.
He kept on stereotyping all the kpop fans disregarding the look-love or the quality-love
Seriously if he's not a close friend of mine, his head won't stay on his neck for long.
Off with hallyu insaneness.

I went for the driving talk too.
A long and back aching 5 hours of babble.
This time around ironman texted me first on the very morning. 7:20am
Throughout the talk things just pass through my left ear and instantaneously exit through the right one.
I knew most of the thing that Chinese ajusshi said/screamed
The rest is in the text book, which I still haven't read up until now.
The Law Test would be on Thursday. If you ask me I wish I could go on the test tommorow.
but the agent don't sen people on Mondays
they do Tuesdays Wednesdays & Thursdays. Apparently both the fore day is registered full. Thursday indeed.
Texting session though, never bores me. I can say I'm hooked to the whole texting thing again.
Went on till like around 6pm. I gave myself a shock.
I miss ironman already la.
What should I do . . .

#99 // . . . speechless

2011-01-08T23:46:00.001+08:00

i miss YH's awesome dance,

JJ's sweet voice,

YC's sexy rap,

JS's beautiful sound,

CM's amazing screaming,

their beautiful harmonies.

eating my ice cream.
crying my eyes out.
wishing my asian greek god
come back to life.

now do tell me
who can dance that hardcore and still have that same stable voice out.
no MR Removed gave me goosebumps before.
until today.

yunho you're awesomeness

changmin no one survive that last smirk of yours.

#98 // how can I not cry

2011-01-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

tell me just once, yunjae is real, no? but they cried together

Are these coincidence of what?
the one in charge of KBS Stage set up is a Cassiopeia maybe.
the important part
the moment JYJ appear on stage one thing caught my eye
and again the moment HOMIN appear on stage the same thing magnetize my eyes

that very first second the music started
I cried.

Things are so similar
yet so far between each other.
I love symbolization, somehow that ornament, makes my heart cry out for more TV5XQ.

As if they are in a concert set. The background CHANGED but one thing remain.
That's our love.
Cassiopeia together we unite.
Like those small pieces of glases
so hard yet so fragile
surrounding those beautifully soaring swirling remaining of an angel's wing.
gods of the east to be exact.

Find that stage ornament meaningful?
then I'm more than happy for not being along . . .

first JYJ

then HOMIN

Seriously I cried the moment I saw the ornament in the comeback performance.
How can those non-ignorable item appear on both performance and not make you cry.
Yes. The Drama Award one was there the whole 3 hour show
but why take it out of the closet again for HOMIN?
I admit I'm obsess to symbolism after the lyric of Break Out, Keep Your Head Down and all the song in 'The...'
this is too obvious.
for me
that is us. LOL
those tiny glass like shining pieces look like stars.
and what are we? a constellation, Cassiopeia.
end of it.

I really need a good night sleep
my brain is killing me.

#97 // Why?

2011-01-06T12:19:00.000+08:00

the return of the KINGs.

GO HD BABE! Noooooowwww!! *hyper*

Why?
must them be this hot . . .
*die of happiness*
Ugh. I just cannot find the right word to explain how much I miss these two so much.
Imagine growing up with them
been together since 2006
then suddenly went silent like 'duhhhh' for damn 2 years.
I didn't feel it much though.
Bless me with asrama.

Special for Changmin Lord;

My dear love can you stop killing me by giving out those shining idk what those are but you holding that magical enchanted thing is so godlike I need to stop this sentence right now but cannot – Changmin sama is just too good to be human. Will you do that flick flick hair just one more time – he did it – oooohhhh... *rip izumi*

Special for Yunho Highness;

The hand that could kill just by dancing rapid supreme speedy smooth bombastic apricot typhoon! Dance your highness like there's no tomorrow. I know people don't understand any of the line written here but gosh you are amajjing! *dancedance*

and KBS World is holding on another event. Their 15th MUSIC BANK event.
This time its TVXQ's turn. Tomorrow would be TVXQ Homin comeback stage with Keep Your Head Down.
the idea is to send fanarts to TVXQ Homin for their comeback.
omg the next coolest thing if they would air all the fanarts.
I want that autographed CD!
seriously mine is the lousiest.
I made two cause in the middle of making the first one I realized this is a comeback fanart
not always keep the faith campaign.
edited the original to make a Homin one instead.
LOLs. Talk about double entry.
and talk about trashy 10 minute work of a retired photoshop artist.
I suck at making facial expression, thought no face looks better than underrated asian greek god.

and just because they are too to be forgotten.

TVXQ and JYJ

two team

one heart

one Cassiopeia.

huh one malaysia?

#96 // kerja juga?

2011-01-05T23:17:00.004+08:00

penatnye jadi suri rumahtangga.

Dua hari lepas baby sitter harini jadi housewife lak.
Spe la jadi husband aq an
Mannn chores is making me lose a couple of hinge on my body
Sengal sengal abes badan aq dibuatnya
Pkul 9 aq bangun tido — dh subuh ok
trus start ngan basuh baju
same time kutip kutip barang tak guna kat ruang tamu buang buang
then sidai 1st batch baju baju yang dah basuh
immediately after that basuh 2nd batch
grab penyapu pulak.
fuh sapu sapu sapu
rase macam duk kat condo je.
time tu baru sedar besarnye rumah opah aq ni.
Kalau duk kat rumah ipoh mugkin kurang sikit penatnya.
Lepas sidai baju baju 2nd batch gerak ke bilik pulak
matress yang makcik aq gune time cuti skola pun tak simpan dalam cabinet lagi.
cadar selimut bantal pun kasi simpan semua
Masuk bilik aq lagi satu bahana
barang barang gopeng mana ada aq kemas lagi.
fuh lagi kemas kemas kemas
baju yang tak basuh aq transfer gi daput je. Esok la basuh. Panas dah kat luar tu
Dah dekat kul 12 dah. Aq mengaku memang slow wat keje sebab tak biasa
Kena masak nasi untuk adik. Aq lapar la pulak.
Gusi sakit so aq masak la kanji aka bubur nasi
dush dush dush aq letak punya la banyak black pepper kegemaranku
teringin ayam aq pegi bantai letak adik aq punya burger bajet jadi minced chicken
Abes masak mandi BAM aq tertido depan tv.
Hakhak.
lawak bila mak aq kejut kul 1.30 dia balik skola dah.
. . .

ahli M2 time SPM mesti kenal kan lukisan tu.
haha. rindu lepak ngan korang kat meja kopi kita dulu.
orang lain study aq pegi melukis pulak.
gila gila.

#95 // pagi sampai petang

2011-01-04T20:41:00.002+08:00

pukul 7 lagi aq dah kaco ko. sian ko kena layan aq lama lama.

Nampaknya dah ta boleh la aq nak mengada ngada suruh dy bawa aq gi jalan jalan

sebab aq pun amek lesen juga tahun ni.

elok elok dy dapat L

aq pulak pegi daftar.

Seriously rasa macam ketinggalan zaman sangat amik lesen tahun 2011 ni.

Member member sume amek 2010.

Berlangkah langkah lebih daripada aq.

tapi aq berjuta juta langkah lagi laju dari mak aq r.

Mak aq amek lepas kahwin kot.

Aq baru tao ary ni. Hakhak.

Dengan ini aq kena la mula wat keje keje suri rumahtangga sepenuh masa

untuk back up duit yang mak aq invest untuk yuran driving school.

Seribu lebih kot!

Aq amek lesen motor ngan kete sekali.

Huh. Boleh ke aq bawak motor ni.

Modenas ayah aq dah la berat nak mati.

Sabar je la . . .

Tapi hari ni aq sakit gigi. Arh!

Lebih kepada sakit gusi.

Bukan kalau gusi yang belakang sekali tu bengkak bila nak tumbuh gigi yang last tu ke.

Bukan gigi tu tumbuh banyak tahun lagi ke?

sakit sial. petang tadi baru start.

sakit sakit sakkkkkittttttttt . . .

7 pagi lagi aq dah kaco ko.

"Kebun ke driving?"

"Driving... Npe dong?"

"Owh. Klu driving then good luck."

"Hak3... smoge bjaye tman adk ko kat tadika"

"Ceh. Jgn igtkn aq psal adk aq. Weh ko bz ta nie?"

"X. Aq x smpai lg...ngah tggu bas"

and the talk went on till twilight.

hola dance ♥

#94 // selamat pagi cikgu!

2011-01-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

blusher terima kasih temankan aq pagi ni.

Today was odd. I thought kids never liked me but today was different

Well . . .

I was suppose to be the guardian of my lil sis

who's this year is a pre scholar. 6 years old already

Gosh I'm that old already?

Turns out that she cried like hell when the teacher told the kids to play

Parents & guardians had a small introductory meeting

I didn't go.

She was literally ripping my tee off.

No can do. I'm no good with kids & tried another tactic.

"Kamu tak nak berhenti nangis akak tak nak cakap dengan kamu!"

Off me to play with other kids.

I though I'm gonna need to work hard to get their attention

so that I could show her how fun it is to play along but

nope.

It was easier than introducing a frog to a 5 years old.

Duhh of course they knew already.

For a split second I thought "Kan bgus kalau adik adik aq macam ni"

I love his one kid for no particular reason.

Maybe he was lonely & misses his sister too

He sat by me & pretended to be afraid of all the toy insects & fishes.

and for another split second I had another thought

"Kalau la dy ni 12 tahun lagi tua dari sekarang aq confirm cair ngan dy ni".

I believe he would grow up with girls around his waist. huh? 'keliling pinggang' haha.

A stalker photo of him.

Cute right?

I could have asked to take a photo with him but I was too busy keeping the beeping cry baby silent.

I forgot to take photos.

I made a small promise to myself too.

My 2011 wish.

To post blog entry everyday until I went to college.

How's that for a useless azam for tahun baru?

I started to got hooked with the whole blogging thing again.

Like 2 years ago when journal is my second home.

It happen again.

My mind still debate about coming back to lj of not.

Maybe not for now.

Most of my friends are away though.

but there's a 50-50 chance of me coming back.

we'll just wait and see.

#93 // the straw to my berry

2011-01-02T21:03:00.001+08:00

Aq rindu ko la.

Why people say it's berani mati?
Tapi memang berani mati pun.
Tak sangka lak aq akan bagi link blog aq kat dy ary tu.
Perghh. Baek punya kantoi r.
Naseb baik aq ada habit tak tulis nama orang dalam blog ni.
Yang ada tu memang aq nak dia tau aq suka or tak suka apa yang dia buat kat aq.
Aq pun tak tao kenapa aq wat post ni ary ni.
Maybe sebab aq dah bosan sangat.
Next time dy buka blog ni aq rase dy tao la kowt
yg aq ni ad menaruh hati kat dy.
Bia je la.
Aq tak nak cakap apa apa.
Aq dah berpuas hati dengan apa yang aq dah dapat sekarang.
Aq msg dy.
Dy layan aq.
Aq kaco dy.
Dy kaco aq.
Aq bosan cari dy.
Dy bosan cari aq.
Aq ngantuk aq bagitao dy.
Dy pegi klinik dia bagitao aq.
Aq ta amek lesen aq mintak dy bwak jlan jlan
Dy nak bagi aq penampar
Aq kata aq lari laju laju
Dy kata dy spongebob
Aq mintak jadi Gary dy.
Dy kata ok.
Aq seronok sampai terlanggar pintu sliding door.
Dy tak tahu.
Aq suka ko. Tapi aq tao ko bkan untuk aq.

Aq takkan lupa aq kena bagi ko top up RM5 sebab ko dapat 47/50 test undang undang.
Tapi nanti kalau kita jumpa ko dah janji nak belanja kan.
Jangan mungkir janji.
Walaupun aq sendiri tak tao bila masa tu akan sampai.
Masa amek result nanti ko kata ko nak enjoy ngan member member
Ok la tu sebab sape je yang tao kita dah baik balik an.
Aq tak de masalah pun.
Lagipun satu je aq nak mintak dari ko.
Jangan benci aq sampai bila bila.
Aq tak nak kita gaduh macam dulu.
Aq takut nak kehilangan ko lagi.

#92 // brand new day

2011-01-01T15:50:00.001+08:00

Congratulation Park Yoochun. Best Newcomer Award 2010 KBS Drama Award

to be able to see JYJ perform on tv live stage is a new year wish come true.
the best thing is that it is live on my 24inch LCD tv and not just my 1024px monitor screen.
the next thing would be watching them in HD or hologram or smthing idk.
life always improves itself.

what's the next best thing that can happen on new year's eve
is spending it with someone I wish I would still befriended with in 30 years time.
someone I look upon to
someone I cared about.
too bad for him a found an old friendster photo which I would surely treasure.
hakhak.
in your face!
gosh that photo is damn funny.
recently we've been texting each other much huh?
I wondered if you ever known that I hand copied all your text during spm period
what in the world would you do.
pretty much you would just said "watpe ko salin mende tak gune cam tu..."
and I would pretty much say "hakhak. sje bosan. lgpun aq an stalker. hakhak."
you "ceh x de keje len ke. sukati ko la. ta kco aq suda."
then I would laugh like crazy people do.
literaly.
officially I was defeated.
Defeated by this guy's incidental love magnet.

everyone.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ♥

#91 // to be in space

2010-12-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

i wish we're the only two person still breathing this air.

your are the beginning of my life.
how am i suppose to wake up.
too lazy
too crazy
your text, an impulse
sent from a far with nothing but a question.
the impulse traveled through
all day long
each beat of heart long for you
a lubb calls your name
a dubb wish you are here
i waited

and waited
then u came 12 hours 20minutes 48seconds later.

do you know how it felt like
to be in a space
just the two of us.
i know
you don't know how suffocating it was.
i'm lucky if i ever survive.
i wish i wouldn't collapse & die
tears gleaming
i wasn't in pain
in in bliss
tonight.
you are the conclusion of my day

#90 // out.

2010-12-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

kami ke Tambun. kami ke Chandan Desa. kami ke Domino's. kami ke Megoplex

since Biology I still haven't came home.
anak derhaka? no la.
just nak enjoy.

081210 Biology paper. goodbye to everyone.
091210 Tambun w/ Amoy, Ejat, Qis, Aqil, Sora & blusher?. out of topic.
101210 JJ trip G6 no blusher.
111210 hanging out with Sora & Ejat. home. 7Eleven disaster.
121210 Chandan Desa. kenduri Cgu Midah w/ Amoy, Qis, Ejat, Sora, Syaiful, Blusher, Ranjers, Sud. Megoplex met Rokos. *coughcough* Medan Gopeng then to aunt's house.
131210 Aunt's. Lunch. Cheesy6 Dinner.
141210 Aunt's. Bank. Giant. Movie@laptop.
151210 School again to grab luggage home. McD breakfast .Goodbye to Amoy, Aqil ESTstudents. So long gopeng. Home sweet home ♥
161210 Updating blog like crazy.
171210 Kedah. Homestay gonna get boring.
181210 Abg sedara wedding. Junior photographer.
191210 Still wedding.
201210 Back online.

That's how my life gonna get through.
Megoplex I'll never forget u though.
Limited online time so still quite bored myself.

*he's at school today.

#89 // kenalan.

2010-12-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

When you have to look away

When you dont have much to say

Thats when I love you

I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak

Or see you walk with two left feet

Thats when I love you

I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game

Forget I'm waiting in the rain

Baby I love you,

I love you anyway

So here's my promise made tonight

You can count on me for life

Thats when I love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you, no matter what

crazy, yes?

#88 // lost 12th season?

2010-11-19T11:25:00.000+08:00

because there's 12 of us.

the last place we're gonna gather.

i'm more than anticipated.

#87 // raya!

2010-11-19T11:08:00.001+08:00

don't unfriend me on facebook opai.

salam Aidiladha wat sume.
tahun nie wat steamboat lgi.
Aq dh rse cam mkan dalam laut Antartika
smpai harini rse kenyang seafood ta ilang lgi.
raye ni aq nk mintak ampun kat sume yg pernah aq sakitkan aty.
manusia ta smpurna an.
mesti ada nye aq sakikan ati sesape.
especially orang2 di sekeliling aq.

to opai;

wei jgn unfriend aq wei.
walaupun kite bukan kawan
just aq knal ko, ko knal aq
aq still ta nak ko benci aq.
sorry r yang psal aritu.
aq ta brkesempatan nk mintak maaf
sbb sume org suh wat bodo je ngan reaction ko.
ta tao ko ley react cam nie.
harap aq ta gnggu idop ko.
open up a bit.
jgn wat aq cuak kat sini sorang2.
jgn unfriend aq lgi.
ko wat aq sdih wei.
kisah lalu kite biarkan.
spm dh makin dkat.
meh kita strive sme2 kay?

rye ttp raye an?

wish me luck.

SPM in 3 days.

*baca sejarah*

#86 // korban cinta?

2010-11-17T14:13:00.002+08:00

is this a public confession?

Wajah yang tampan
Sunggu menawan
Dan juga kaya ku suka dia
Tapanya kaya sungguh sederhana
Baik budinya juga bahasanya

Saat kau menghampiri diri ku
Ku ingin engkau tahu
Sebenarnya aku diam-diam
Aku jatuh hati pada mu
Ku ingin tahu diam-diam
Aku jatuh hati pada mu
Ku ingin kau tahu

♫
Diam diam by Tilu.

#85 // busted shit.

2010-11-15T22:35:00.003+08:00

I don't have a damn time enough to hate u.

sungguh kejam anda menghancurkan dinding privacy aq!
dh tak mampu lagi menjerit
jadi aq cuma bertenang
dan cuba menahan segan yg teramat sgt
skrunk sape yg salah?
aq yg meminati
or org yang tertahu tanpa sengajanya dengan memecah privacy?
huh.
dh tak mampu nak mengenang.
dugaan semakin banyak bila exam makin dekat.
kiranya directly porpotional.
kan blusher???!!

aq pasti akan mati.
gmbar ni tragis.
tuan beg
minta maaf.
beg hg je yg smart time tuh.
aq tiada pilihan.
jgn pecahkan camera aq lagi.

#84 // counting on.

2010-10-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

I damn miss them.

but something else

was pacing towards me.

soon we're eye to eye.

23rd November 2010.

the day it all begin.

#83 // one missing budk chomel again.

2010-09-27T16:01:00.001+08:00

hell u camp!

it was hella fun!

though I missed a couple of budak chomel photo.
I successfully collected 4 people who wore the same coloured baju raya. REDD!!
dongbangshinki coloured.
later with the photos.
I got one with ezzo
one with ane
one with kole, didn't expect this one
and last one with zafrie.
and 14 budak chomel altogether.
omo.
i was so gedik & mengada rite.
huhu. don't care. this is my last year afterall.
bila lagi budak chomel nak amik gambar dengan I an.
ha-tiga ha-tiga ha-tiga ♥

it was an open asrama event.
so yeah. boys lovers got the chance to go in there.
lots-a thing happen.

and i was flying high.
so high even pak guard didn't notice.
kak yunie. huh.

this one is so last year.

I remembered kawan adidas made this piece.

selamat hari raya.

I didn't get the chance to baring baring on budak chomel gred A's bed.
kena halau. sheesh.
and no photo with gred B+. camp.
never wished for a photo with gred A though.
too scary.

#82 // so long.

2010-09-19T11:31:00.000+08:00

kini ku mesti kembali.

raya dah sakan
berat dah naik
skola datang balik..

raya this year was so superb.
I went beraya to sya's house from 9 to 5?
lmao.
it is too great to gather again after a long separation
after all that\s what makes a friendship stronger.
to all my clique
thanks for my raya this year the best raya I could ever wish for.

next thing is mind.

2010 Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia

uh. sucks.

#81 // real raya.

2010-09-17T16:12:00.002+08:00

had fun had food had love.

really miss these people so much.
hopefully for tommorow.
ayesha's open house shall be holded
cause I really wanted to meet alya.
I wonder what happen to her.
camera rainbow.
all of us.

the series

#80 // raya.

2010-09-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

I am bored & unhappy.

took me the whole evening.
happy with the result.
except the extra pounds changmin had.
ugh.
didn't realize until someone said so in fb.
changmin ate too much this festive season.
too lazy to edit again.
the wallpaper version shall stay there for while.
considering the time it took to made this.
i was half bored half creative maybe.

selamat hari raya.

maaf zahir batin.

everyone.

#79 // farawayland.

2010-09-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

and now tears still flow.

The letters that the stars created in the night sky
I still believe that it is not just by chance
In the same darkness, in the same distance
We are painting the W in the same way
We will shine more and more so that you can find us
Keep in mind that I love you.
I wish…

Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close my eyes, you’re everything
It is still natural that you are by our side
We can only wish that you are happy
We will climb our stairs one by one
We are still waiting for you, imagining our future

I wish..

Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close our my eyes, you’re everything
It is still natural that you are by our side
We will keep your place here, until the day we can meet again
We believe that we can laugh together with you once again
You’re my love Please hold on
Even when the days pass by, and that there may be pains
You are always our “PRIDE”
The words that you murmured to the stars shining in the nightsky
We still believe that it is not “Good bye”

Under the same sky, dreaming the same dream
We are still searching for the W
We will always shine in the same shape
keep in mind that I love you.

I want to see you, see you
I want to see you, see you
I want to see you, see you
I want to see you, see you, see you

I wish…

Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close my eyes, you’re everything
It is still natural that you are by our side
We will keep your place here, until the day we can meet again
We believe that we can laugh together with you once again

I still believe that photo is a cropped photo of 5 of them.
Always keep the faith!

#78 // the past.

2010-09-05T21:36:00.001+08:00

i thought i was done with it already.

have u ever thought that
once in your life
a turning point will come
and for once you would regret everything you did in the past.
how you wish you never said anything
or did anything which leads to the present.
and how you wish you would never do these things again
so that the pain will not occur again.

it's painful.
very.